This week has been decent. The kids and I were out and about on Friday. They had their yearly check-up. Both are in good shape and growing on schedule (Bren is 90percentile and Guin is 50percentile). Bren's ear is still healing from his infection. Guins' has already healed.

I spoke privately to the doctor about what I thought was going on with Bren. See, when I was a child I was diagnosed as "hyperactive". The term means nothing now, it is only one symptom of ADD or ADHD. While hyperactivity is something that normally lessens with age and maturity, focusing on one situation or thought at a time and organization is something that will stay with a person.

I told the doctor I thought that Bren maybe was in the same situation as I was/am. He said that he noticed it as well. Luckily, he went to a seminar about Attention Deficit Disorder and then he revealed to me that his daughter has ADD as well. His advice was to make sure that Bren keeps eye contact when we are speaking to him; not to give Bren 8 different segments of a task, but to give a few requests at a time; Bren will have to be reminded about completing tasks; distractions will make it difficult for him to listen or do a task; as parents, we should pick a few items to correct him on, but not to always correct him on every little thing because eventually, he would hear us as background noise; visit the school often to get any words the teacher has to part about Bren's behavior and activities in school. The doctor told me that there is nothing to worry about ADD except if Bren was becoming unsocial, destructive or a behavior problem. Bren hasn't shown any of these traits, he gets along well at school. The teacher sees how he is active and so keeps him close to her for certain situations (like story time). She mentions how smart he is (yeah, he can read and write, knows his numbers to 100....he's very bright and a quick learner, when he's interested in the topic...just like I was).

These are things that we have been doing and trying to do with Bren. It can be frustrating because when one is pressed for time one gets anxious. So we've been working at keeping ourselves available to listen and to work with him. One funny bit of information that he gave to me was to becareful of teachers compensating for any behavior issues because of how intelligent he was. If a person is able to do what they want for a task, even they arrive at the same conclusion that everyone else does, it isn't always acceptable. Kind of like driving: I could drive around the block to get to the store using roads or I could do something completely different and drive through folks lawns...I'm getting to the store both ways but... *smile*

He also told me not to compare Bren and Guin. Of course, being two entirely different people, they are entirely different! Guin is a child that doesn't have ADD. She is witty and quick with a line. She can focus on tasks...she still needs to be reminded though. They are both intelligent, but both have a different way of showing their smarts. We accepted that when we decided to concieve and it is interesting to watch them grow and learn. They are the same but different. I love it. We look at this as 4 people living together. We all have our quirks and issues going on. We don't negate the kids just because we had them. They are out of our comprehension and power now. They are separate from me and from B-. They will grow up and become adults. Hopefully the skills and understanding that we have imparted to them stick and they will become positive beings in our social structure. It is hard to think of though. Them learning about love. Falling in love. Possibly having children and doing what B- and I have done and so many other things in life! I don't really have a sense of "living on". Merely a sense of contribution to the Grand Scheme.

The doctor gave me some good advice that B- and I were already doing, but it was nice to have our methods reaffirmed.

After that I wanted them to have fun. We went to the library and they got to pick out books. They got a chance to meet and interact with a brother and sister team. It was the cutest to hear them asking each other their names: "What's your name?" "I'm Brendon. What's your name?" "I'm David." "This is my sister Guin. What's your sister's name?" etc... Their mother called to them and they left and a little girl came by just in time. They were playing and having a nice time. I didn't want to spoil it but eventually we had to go. Bren & Guin invited the little girl to go to our house. Which of course, she couldn't. We went to McDonald's because they have a big Play Place complete with habitrail, ball crawl and two windy slides.

There was a little boy there that wouldn't listen to his grandmother when it was time to go. She was walking toward the exit and kept calling him. He wouldn't go. He wouldn't put on his shoes. He intentionally ignored her. She finally realized that she was going to have to collect him. Bren started to follow her to watch the scene...I told him to come and finish his lunch; he came back immediately. When the grandmother grabbed the boy's hand, he hit her and then turned away from her on his heel! Bren and Guin jaws dropped! They looked at me. I shook my head for them to be quiet. The grandmother smacked the boy on his shoulder. The boy turned back and hit her again! This happened for about 30 seconds...him hitting her and her hitting back. She then smacked him on his cheek...mildly hard (I could barely hear the slap) and he started yelling at her: "You're the meanest!" "MEAN MEAN MEAN!" She told him she would never take him to McDonald's again and they left. Grandma with grandson in tow. As they were headed out Guin looked at me and said in a matter of fact tone: "Mommy..." I looked at her and said "Ah!" abruptly and Guin understood...be quiet.
There were other kids in the Play Place and they all played and had a great time. Guin went to the tippy-top part of the habitrail and got scared. I had to take off my shoes and climb in and get her. A couple parents were chuckling and saying "Awww" because Schmoopie was upset and crying for me. With Bren letting me know how to get to her, I made the rescue and then we slid down one of the spiral slides.
A mother and her two sons came in. She started yelling at them as soon as they got inside. And it wasn't just a quiet growl, it was projected screechy yelling rebounding on every surface in the room. Bren started playing with the boys in the ball crawl and one of them started throwing balls at Bren but missing him. Bren was laughing and thought the boy was playing...well the boy purposely beaned him in the face; after he hit Bren, he started laughing! I was watching and I said in a loud but normal tone: "Don't throw balls. I don't want YOU hitting my son." He looked at me and didn't do it again. He did however, hit Bren with his hands and fists and I said again loudly: " Let's not hit anyone!" It was obvious that this boy was a bruiser. His brother was the opposite, considerate and polite. Their mother came in from getting food and the whole time she was there, shrieky, screechy yelling! Grrr...I was trying to read a book too! Eventually the mother chilled-out a little (she musta been hungry/thirsty) and it was better. 3:00, time to leave so we could get home and greet Daddy...

It was fun. It was relaxing to see the kids having fun. It's amazing how much I LOVE being a parent!