My kiddies spend the night at my folks house on Monday's...it's great! We get some definite R&R after the weekend. My almost 4 yr old daughter, when she gets angry at me, says she hates me and that "she's not my child."

Being the adult in the situation, I tell her nicely that she doesn't mean that and that it isn't nice to say things just to hurt peoples feelings.

She then says she doesn't love me anymore, I should leave her alone and she STILL isn't my child. She's Daddy's child.

I tell her that I don't know of too many people who would claim her and that Daddy wouldn't want to listen to her tantrum!

The whole time, my almost 6 yr old son, tells me that he loves me and that he's my child and that I'm the best Mommy in the world. He's a sweetie. So is my daughter, she is just an awful lot like that Nursery Rhyme:

There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead
And when she was good
She was very, very good
But when she was bad
She was horrid!

I've been trying different methods to change her behaviour as far as the tantrums go. What has worked best so far is instead of telling her to take a nap or go to her room, I have her sit in a chair in the kitchen (there's always someone in the kitchen). She must be quiet and sit still until she's finished her tirade. Now, for the most part, she feels that she can decide when she gets down from the chair. So after she feels I deserve and grudgingly gives an apology (i.e. she's tired of sitting in the chair), I tell her I don't think she really is sorry for how she treated me. It's immediate! Instant attitude all over again: "Well, I SAID I was SORRY MO-MMY!!"

Whew! It takes all I have not to laugh AT her. It isn't cute what she does. It's the fact that she thinks I'm not smart enough to catch on to her ruse. Silly Schmoopie (her nickname). Eventually, she does become penitant and then we can get back to our day. But it is a test of patience, stamina and control of one's first instinct which is to lash out and say some withering remark.

Shit! They're KIDS! But that isn't to say that SOME people don't think and let their emotions take over. I've been working on that as soon as I realized that I had a child that would push my buttons in that manner.

My son was/is completely different. He moves 10 miles a minute! He has so many things on his mind and on his agenda for the day that he can't take the time to listen. He's alot like me. What works best with him is after about 2 or 3 times of ignoring me or Daddy (which isn't easy to determine...if we get acknowledgement but no response or action taken on our requests, that's ignoring), we take away, confiscate or remove him from whatever he was focusing on besides us. So, he might get his Super Nintendo taken away or he can't be in the living room while the TV is on, etc.

In my parents' household, spanking or flagellation was the first method of punishment. Not for serious misdemeanors either, so it's not that I think my kids are lucky...merely that I'm glad I wanted to do something different for "my" family. My husbands' family didn't spank. We try not to spank. That is a last resort...very last resort. Three quick smacks on their behinds and that does it. That is basically the kids in "total disregard" mode and we've already used everything in our arsenal. Usually it is after they have exhibited their demon-like qualities and we have put them down for the ultimate....A NAP, but they won't nap. It doesn't happen often...our kids really are good for the most part...but when it does, we all know that the limit has gone to the extreme.

We feel that spanking as a last resort is that fear factor that is necessary for children to have before they make conscious decisions to "do the right thing". (If a person commits a serious crime such as theft, he/she probably isn't going to be *made* to sit in a corner or return the goods they stole. They may have to serve time in jail or pay a fine or have a record. While some people find that an effective reason not to commit crimes, others find that consequence circumstantial. (like our fuzzy logic? *chuckle*)).

They are great kiddies. Both are funny with a wonderful sense of humor. Both are smart and curious. Both are as different as night and day! Both are beautiful! Goodness. I could type about them all day! Some little thing about each of them that is wonderful. I'm glad and very lucky to have the kids I do...course they aren't teenagers yet, but I'm not planning to forget how it is to be any of their ages and stages. And I want to remember all the moments.